Unbearable.. sick.. i am sick today .. getting fever after taken McD .. haiz .. how would it be? em.. allergy of beef that make me sick actually .. mood today not really good.. i suddenly have many things in my mind.. am i taking prevention of the things .. or am I really OK? i asked my self.. i could not get an answer to my self as well..
i am always giving my self 101 things to do.. accepting many things up into my life accomodating my self with many things.. i did them to make myself BUSY BUSY as I could.. i never wanna stop a second for my self to relax.. i tried my best to put all my time totally accomadate by doing something .. as long as i take up all de concentration of my mind to do the things .. and no time fr me to think of the things.. that i am not suppose to..
i am putting my self as tired as i could.. it has been a month i am leading a life that is busy.. em.. how busy i could be.. i started doing cross stich that need concentration, then scaft .. then christmas card.. and many many more .. and learning doing boxes..reading books that i never read... i never love reading for sure.. and now i read.. i never love taking pictures and now i did.. every where i go i will take pictures.. i jus wanna fill all my time... to write, to blog.. earning money.. and to put my self as busy as i could..
i want to make my self as tired as i could.. as i can do so i don have any time spare for me to think.. i am putting my self doing 101 things.. wat else i can do for me to stop thinking.. i also dono..
i know is hard to make my self to forget... to stop thinking.. just heading to the front.. i am not sure wat route i am leading my self to.. are there ways i can do to stop and stop to think the things i should not do..
i been to places.. that i never been.. i had tried to make my self tired not to think.. i had put all my time in my career.. i put everything in my career.. i don give my self a spare time.. to sleep at night .. is still appering in my dreams.. why cant it jus disappear like dat? why? what i need to do ..now i cant make myself to blif ppl.. on wat they say sometimes. i really scared of everything... i am now having been in precaution of everything.. everything in my life..